Commentary
There's An Evolution In The Blogosphere
- by Maria Bailey , Columnist, November 7, 2012
This is a blog post I've wanted to write for some time and now I do so with a bit of lingering hesitation. I’ve delayed putting my observations into writing because I didn’t want to seem like I was generalizing or calling out any one blogger's personal situation. However, enough time and events have gone by that it will reflect a picture of a sliver of the mom blogosphere. There is an evolution going on within the homes of mom bloggers. As an observer of human behavior, I have watched it with interest for the past 12 months.
As the popularity and success of the social media mom influencers grow, so do the challenges within her marriage. I watch it on Facebook, I read it in tweets and I can see it within images on Instagram. I will outline the progression for you. Mom begins blogging because she wants to meet other moms. Companies and brands begin showing her attention, sometimes inviting her on trips that exceed her wildest dreams. She begins to develop a sense of independence and confidence. She is earning her own money.
Some moms change their eating habits, begin to exercise and eventually transform their bodies. She also spends a lot of time working on her laptop and traveling to keep up with her new life. This is where the challenge begins. Her spouse married the “pre-blogging” woman -- the one that was available to him, the one whose focus was solely the family, the one who perhaps didn’t out-earn his salary. In other cases, mom enjoys her new-found confidence as she experiences the world beyond her kitchen and the spouse, who often ignores her needs over the needs of his children. It’s a challenge that exists in any marriage but in a marriage of social media influencers, it involves 20,000 followers on Twitter, secret Facebook groups and the ongoing attention of others.
For some couples, it's a new and welcomed life and personal identity. Each family handles the transition differently. There have been increasingly more husbands and children traveling with moms on brand trips. The whole family gets into the fun and prosperity of social media. Today, there are some bloggers who have expanded their businesses to include their spouses like @MommyNiri and Jendi of Jendi Vlogs. In these two examples, the spouses are as well-known among the mom set as the mom herself.
For couples who don’t grow together, they grow apart quickly. After all, that’s how it happens in social media -- fast. Opportunities abound for the frustrated homemaker online, and the world becomes an oyster of blogger conferences and brand-sponsored vacations. Her new-found confidence takes her to places where praise and acceptance are plentiful. Her love for her family continues, but so does her love for herself. However, if she decides to end her marriage, she does it very quietly in order to preserve the public reputation she has created as a mom, wife, business owner and representative of the mom world.
What does this mean for companies marketing to moms? I document this trend in order to help you understand your market better. How it applies to your business, you will have to decide. Certainly, if your target is single moms, it’s good to know. I believe it’s important to recognize that the moms who blog about your products and upload videos praising your brands are humans, too.
They face the same challenges of others but in an amplified, fast-forward manner that is very public and at times fueled by the public. Most importantly in the business of maintaining relationships with these women, it’s necessary to follow their blogs, tweets and Facebook statuses in order to keep the relationship genuine. Just because you read her blog two years ago doesn’t mean that the same blogger exists in the same state or form today.
This is a growing trend, without a doubt. And it's true, it's not always documented on the blog, for a variety of reasons. I think the takeaway for companies is to build personal relationships with the bloggers you work with...is the message on the blog still a match for your company, or does it change somehow by the blogger's change in marital status? I don't personally believe I'd use different products, drive a different car or visit different destinations because of a divorce, but the companies I work with most likely already know this about me based on our relationships that have been built over time. You are right--follow the blogs, tweets and Facebook statuses--but, in my humble opinion, also build a connection with these people so that you know the story behind the story, so to speak.
Let me first say that my career as a blogger, writer and author had nothing to do with my upcoming divorce.
Let me also say that in the year-and-a-half since my husband moved out, I still drive a Honda, use Microsoft Office, buy Method soap, and shop at Target, Sports Authority and Pathmark. I am not sure why or how getting a divorce would change that. I may not be a wife anymore, but I'm still a mom. Marketing to me really shouldn't change, except perhaps when it comes to Valentine's Day? I dunno.
As for blogging being a stress on a marriage, I would suspect the biggest stress is the amount of time the vast majority of mom bloggers spend on social media and blogging in exchange for little or no pay, or trading their brands for swag.
I've seen plenty of mom bloggers report that their spouses complain that all that work often brings in little pay to the household. As a result, more and more mom bloggers are trading their hard-earned skills for part- and full-time jobs as social media managers, writers, videographers, graphic designers, and more.
The attention from brands, including the well-stuff swag bags and the trips to cool places are nice perks, but they should never replace payment for services. And yet, in the past 3-4 years, that has exactly what has become of the mom blogosphere.
No wonder husbands are disappointed.
I've seen this happen both ways, but never put it into thoughts as you have - so thank you! I am blessed to be married to a man that encourages me to grow and supports my online activity.
The only thing I would add is to caution the women to stay aware of the situation, to set boundaries, to remember the children grow up fast, to think about when to push for more and when to wait. As you said, social media happens extremely fast and sometimes it's good to take a step back and re-evaluate priorities.
I especially love what you said at the end because I am one of those bloggers that is much different now from when I started blogging 5 years ago.
i think you just described the story of kate gosselin. when she started getting sponsored trips to exotic locations with the kids, the show became less about the chaos of their lives and more about her image while they go on fabulous vacations. she completely lost reality. hopefully, moms who blog are holding on to the real world and not being too swayed by the "perks" of brand sponsorship.
This is an interesting phenomenon, but I don't think that the divorce rate among mommy bloggers should be the real motivator for brands. Instead, why not pay attention to the long-standing fact that half of us will divorce?! I started my blog -- WealthySingleMommy.com -- after my divorce to meet what I see is a huge need for a community for professional single mothers. It isn't so much what products we buy and use, but rather the marketing messages brands (or, don't) employ. There are very few families that look like mine in the media. We have money to spend, we're smart and no one is talking to us.
Emma