I was brewing some Quaker Oats and reading the paper yesterday morning when a familiar voice -- grating yet somehow comforting -- pierced the air: "It rushes multiple cold fighters plus a powerful pain reliever wherever you need it." Yes, it was the pointer-wielding Speedy Alka-Seltzer, in a report by correspondent Martha Teichner on CBS's "Sunday Morning."

The editor of the AOL Patch in my community, Lizzie Hedrick, was so effusive about a particular type of apple in a conversation recently that I was reminded of a poem by Ted Joans that I'd heard long ago: "Jazz is my religion, and it alone do I dig."

I've never told anyone -- ever -- about a little side profession I have as a distributor for Sunrider International. Admittedly, that's a disadvantage, seeing how it defeats the whole purpose of being part of a multi-level marketing program, which is to recruit other people to cough up an entry fee as I did for a box of introductory products I'll mostly never use, like produce wash, and Fortune Delight® -- a "naturally revitalizing herbal beverage designed to nourish and cleanse the body."