• by Ed Martin , October 10, 2013

Network schedules are already springing leaks -- and it's only the third week of the brand new broadcast season.

The first two failures in the 2013-14 freshman class -- ABC's “Lucky 7” and CBS' “We Are Men” -- happened after each of these shows were telecast only twice. That kind of fast failure is known as being D.O.A. Some members of Hollywood's creative community complain about such quick deaths, arguing that certain classic and long-running shows of the past -- including “Cheers” and “Seinfeld,” to name two of the biggest -- were cellar dwellers in the ratings at the time of their premieres and throughout their first seasons. But because network executives recognized certain qualities in both shows they kept them alive, the creative types say -- allowing them to slowly grow and ultimately become ratings and awards powerhouses that have generated billions of dollars since they began.

Those creative types can be awfully myopic, not to mention thin-skinned. Let's hope Kanye West doesn't enter the business of television series development. Imagine his response to the fast cancellation of a project put together by a self-proclaimed “creative genius.” He would probably get way more upset than he did when he discovered that Jimmy Kimmel and his team had put together a funny video that spoofed an interview he had done with Zane Lowe of BBC Radio 1. West just doesn't understand how the media works. Lesson one: If you can't stand being at the center of one media frenzy after another, don't get romantically involved with a star of a cheese-ball reality television show who lives to land as many magazine covers as possible. But I digress …

I haven't heard anyone complain about the fast death of “Lucky 7,” as lame a drama series as our broadcast networks are likely to produce and one that probably shouldn't have been developed in the first place. I haven't seen the British series on which it was based, but I'm pretty sure it had to be infinitely better than the mess ABC gave us. What is it with this desperation to develop all things British? It rarely works out well. Remember when NBC famously messed up “Coupling” (the original British version of which remains one of the funniest comedies in the history of television) and MTV botched its remake of “Skins” (another British series -- in this case a drama, the first two seasons of which can stand with the medium’s best)?

The second-biggest question here is who at ABC thought Americans would enjoy watching a semi-serialized drama series about a group of miserable people who hit the lottery, collect millions and remain perpetually unhappy as they live the dream? Who thought such a thing would qualify as escapist entertainment in this economy, with the government threatening to pummel us into an even deeper recession?

The biggest question here is why doesn't ABC have anything on its bench that was ready to go in the event that one of its new fall freshmen died at the start? (Three words: “Body of Proof.”) It's not as if something like this never happens. At present, ABC is tossing away the Tuesday 10 p.m. time period that was briefly home to “Lucky 7” with a repeat of the previous week's episode of “Scandal.” How is that supposed to play when there are so many other ways for “Scandal” fans to see each episode if they miss its first telecast?

As for “We Are Men,” I'm a little surprised that CBS snuffed it so fast, if only because its cast was so appealing and the basic concept seemed relevant and contemporary. There might have been a way for this one to grow, perhaps with the addition of a few carefully chosen actresses to play opposite these guys.

The other obvious candidate for the fast axe is ABC's terminally airless drama “Betrayal,” which I have to believe will be off the network's schedule before the November sweeps period begins. Beyond that, the next new shows to go are anyone’s guess, but leading the pack of probable casualties are Fox's “Dads,” which won't be missed by anyone except members of its cast and crew, and NBC's “Ironside,” a remake that was a bad idea to begin with. NBC's “Welcome to the Family” also looks to be in trouble, but I like to think this is one of those rare programs that network executives will try to protect, at least for a while. It may not be riotously funny, but it's sweet and smart and thought-provoking -- qualities that are not exactly common among broadcast comedies.

And then there's CBS' “Hostages,” a series that critics championed but which the public has clearly rejected. I hear it's proving to be popular in other countries, so I have to think the network will play out its full 15-episode order, perhaps on Saturday night where nothing much matters, and hopefully with a satisfying finale that will allow it to live on in other formats as a fully contained series.