• by P.J. Bednarski  @pjbtweet, December 10, 2019

Smirnoff’s Ice wants you to know it’s teamed up with luxury home goods brand  Cremsiffino to market some exclusive items for upcoming holiday gift exchanges.

And actually, Smirnoff’s Ice doesn’t mind if you know that Cremsiffino is a totally fictitious product.  What’s really being sold are phony Cremsiffino boxes that purport to contain Sharper Image-type items: special wooden hangers, a hand mixer or a mini-ironing board.

(Cremsiffino is an anagram of the letters in Smirnoff Ice.)

For $20, via the Website retailer GiftAGram.com, consumers can give spring the gift on an unsuspecting recipient, maybe at a white elephant gift exchange.

Inside is a bottle of Smirnoff Ice, a flavored malt beverage that usually sells for between $9 to $15 per six or 12 pack.  (Consumers who just want the box can order one for $10).

“With the Cremsiffino boxes, we've turned what can be a boring gifting moment into delicious, unforgettable fun, and the gift giver into the party legend,” said  said Krista Kiisk, Smirnoff’s brand director, in an appropriately  packaged statement.

Like late-night TV advertisers that advise consumers to “act now,” the window of opportunity for these gag gift boxes is closing rapidly.

GiftAGram’s shipping department tells the brand the boxes should arrive three to five days after the order is placed. A spokesman reasons,  “So if a 21+ consumer orders this week, it should be there in time for white elephant parties ahead of the holidays.”

The brand is using social media and other digital platforms  to spread the word.

It’s been quite a year for brands marketing their brands by selling something else. Budweiser sold leftover Browns Victory refrigerators in Cleveland. Dollar Shave Club recently introduced the Robloncho: a robe, blanket and poncho all in one kind of silly garment.  Reynolds Wrap just introduced a robe, the Reynolds Wrap.

The Smirnoff Ice Cremsiffino gift boxes are part of the brand’s  “Not So Silent Nights”  holiday campaign that launched in November.

The Cremsiffino boxes do have competition. There are several deliberately deceptive packaging vendors. On Amazon, you can buy a phony box purportedly holding The Earwax Candle Kit and The Toilet Tunes Speaker and Sanitizer.

The satirical newspaper, The Onion, for years marketed packages for fake products like The Visor-ganizer, described as “a revolutionary carrying case for everything you need to make it through your busy day .. It clips on to the front of your favorite hat.”